i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
did i walk over a car last night?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drake has all the answers
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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