My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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