i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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