Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
