they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
