All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I didn't notice because vodka
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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