Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
