i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Everyone says I win the strip club
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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