There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
