Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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