she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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