I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
