he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
