so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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