im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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