It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
handjob tips. give me some.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
