Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
