Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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