Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
