I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
