3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
