i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
