smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
