pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
