I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
