Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
