this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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