omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
