If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
