they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
