Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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