I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
