Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
