What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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