escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
