So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
