I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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