ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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