OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
