forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
