You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
