OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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