I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
