I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
