I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
