just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
