Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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