oh god the rape fog is back!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He did a backflip because drugs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
