She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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