I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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